Windows 11 is Embarrassing

Every week, I update, backup, feed, and water my servers and devices. I’ve got all manners of stuff running around here. There are Linux servers, a couple macOS based things, Linux servers running on those macOS based things, and a Raspberry Pi or two. I also have a couple of Windows devices that I need because I do a lot of work with SQL Server and a certain Windows based ILS. Much of the backup stuff is automatic but I run the updates myself because I want to see what’s going where and what’s happening on which devices. And of all these computers, servers, devices, and doo-dads, it’s always Windows that ruins my IT morning.

First, I never believe Windows Update when it says “You’re up to date.” I always click the button to check for updates.


Because Windows 10/11’s concept of “You’re up to date” is based upon lies and bullshit. It’s the same philosophy that powers the notion that your computer will reboot outside normal operating hours. Which is why I’ve found my telephony monitoring system going down in the middle of the day because the middle of the day is obviously outside normal operating hours. So when Windows tells me it’s up to date, I figure it’s absolutely full of shit and I click the button to check for updates.

This morning, as I write this, I’ve been told three times that I’m up to date on two separate Windows 11 decks. And every time I click the button, I’m not. There’s a patch, a driver update, or something. In one case, there was a massive Windows update that it probably would’ve pulled down on Wednesday and then rebooted the computer outside of normal operating hours, perhaps around 1:30 in the afternoon. So, between two Windows 11 machines I clicked the check for updates button six times. Naturally, each update cycle required a reboot.

Oh, and it installed Spotify for me… without asking.

Wait Windows installed what the fuck now without asking?

I mean, one machine runs a monitoring system and the other computer is a SQL Server Express box I use for SQL hacking development. I need Spotify on those machines like I need Half Life 2.

Thankfully, it’s super easy to get rid of, as laid out by this post on Microsoft Ignite.

All you need to do is:

cd \
cd Program Files
cd WinApps
cd SpotifyAB.SpotifyMusic_1.194.874.0_x86__zpdnekdrzrea0
takeown /F /R /D Y
icacls . /T /C /grant administrators:F System:F myusername:F
del /s /q
rmdir Apps /S /Q
rmdir AppxMetadata /S /Q
rmdir locales /S /Q
rmdir GameBar /S /Q
rmdir Assets /S /Q
rmdir microsoft.system.package.metadata /S /Q
cd ..
takeown /F SpotifyAB.SpotifyMusic_1.194.874.0_x86_zpdnekdrzrea0 /R /D Y
icacls SpotifyAB.SpotifyMusic_1.194.874.0_x86zpdnekdrzrea0 /T /C /grant administrators:F System:F myusername:F
rmdir SpotifyAB.SpotifyMusic_1.194.874.0_x86_zpdnekdrzrea0

I’m told that one can install SQL Server Express on Linux. I’m most assuredly diving into that notion later this week.